Unexpecting the Expected

Things has not turned better, I guess this is not the bottom of the valley yet. I wonder when can I really write something more optimistic here, just like what Irvin nag at me, spreading the unhealthy mood around.

Last friday I have this chance to do quite a lot of things. I met up George D who'se long time no see; I played table tennis which I think my waist is a bit incompetent with it; I knock the engineers' head by telling them they are the frog under the coconut shell; I entertaint my fellow colleagues by singing a happy song; and on the second morning, I learnt how to swim free style (finally).

I admit that I had approached some irrational way to destress, perhaps way to irrational. Gordon told me, "You are the wan who told me this method to destress is a fake method." I felt so sorry to him, so does myself. I think I should be on my way back to resolve all the problem I faced, facing, and to be faced. Yeap, no doubt I'm able to share my problem by telling dudes and machis around me on how miserable life is, how difficult customers are, how sucks to deal with some non-logic members, and how worry I am onto some "should-be-over" problem.

While I think I'm the worst person in this universe, I think I'm just a peanut. There are too many things beyond my control, some body reminded me, I missed out things that I should able to control, ie my family. I'll knod with the say I'm lack of familism. Its not always my strength. Am I setting the bar way too high? I definitely think I didn't and I don't. Therefore, I decided that I will not smock away other people's familism as well, just like C's. C was texting me that her mom will visit her sis at Klang, for the sake to cure misses. I'm feeling semi consoled, for not smuggling away another precious of her mom.

Well guess what, I'd booked my flight to Bali, too early to tell but, it seems like it doesn't destress me now. I definitely need a short trip, to a relaxing places like, Pangkor? Genting? Cameron? Problem to look for suitable companion to go around... But it's ok, I think with my level of stress, I still able to release through the fluid and gases I took recently. Or I suppose it should be more exercise for the sake of health. Yah yah...... 35 years old I know... stop nagging me ok...

Today surprisingly, Chong left a message in my blog, after I read his message, I looked for that mp3 and listened. Very soothing. So I dropped him a message through MSN, and we chatted about company prospects, perhaps in short period of time, we are at the losing edge.

From my finance, my family, my love life, has ended a failure in 2008. BUT..... BUT!!!!!..... nevermind. Next year chinese zodiac has out already, as the zodiac said, rat is in TIP TOP CONDITION!!!! Do you guys know, in this moment, everything is very very uneasy, I'm facing all those things that I'm informed that not going to be good. I'm really unexpecting them to come. But I do hope that next year, will be a great year, I hope everything will turn good, a brand new start for whatever my bad records, that I'll wash away all my bad luck, and welcome all my brand new success! Ok you guys may think its a lil bit early to say that but:

2009!!! WAIT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

Shahrir: Fuel price to be cut further mid-Nov

As expected, there will be another round of fuel price revisions coming mid-November (likely the 15th of November 2008, this Friday) and Minister of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Datuk Shahrir Samad indicates that it will most likely be a price cut.

The government announced previously that it aimed for the fuel prices to be revised every 2 weeks and it has kept to this for the past month or so quite diligently. Each round of revisions brought cuts, with the most recent being a 15 sen cut to RM2.15 per liter for RON97 petrol and RM2.05 per liter for RON92 petrol and diesel. This came into effect on the 1st this month.

Anyone want to try to guess how much the cut will be this time?

不一样的星期一

怎么说？今天的星期一的确不凡。我不发现平时该有的蓝蓝心情，反而更觉得平静。一大早就听了曹格的起床歌：“世界上只有快乐是最重要！”不错不错。

当然周末过得不是那么的理想。但由于要再等机会，若还是不行，就吃自己咯！不开心的事当然也有。客户还是来电碎碎念，想要趁机得到好处，费事理他们，继续自己更有意义的工作更好。我发现自己比以往更有冲劲，开始更有“一点点”的效率，再加上适量的偷闲，还有适量的咖啡因，实在是令人无得顶！！

我今天在网上遇见了好久没聊的年轻网友，说要回来大马了。还要我带他去见识“夜生活”！哈哈 年轻真是令人有一种精力充沛的感觉！虽然我不年轻了，但入场是还被检查身份证！真不赖！哈哈！

虽说心情不蓝，但还是感觉某种压力围绕著自己。我今天独自到泳池里游泳，享受被水压的无事一身轻的Feel，爽！虽然没有看见美女，但总算有运动吧！幸运的是，当我在回家路途中扭开Lite FM，听见我和Chong常常唱的: Why do birds.. suddenly appear... 好陶醉！最近一直喜欢这首歌也许是在想一些事，令我更享受这首歌的乐器。

我回到家里，吃着非常难吃的晚餐，心里想了想：可能明天会不会一样？可能会，可能不会了！我一定要好好记住这感觉！

我开始这里有点象日记本了。每天都好像很依赖这里。。。

Why do birds, suddenly appear?
Everytime, you are near?
Just like me, they long to be,
Close to you~~~

Why do stars, fallin from the sky?
Everytime, you walked by?
Just like me, they long to be,
Close to you~~~

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue~~

That is why all the guys in town
Follow you, all around~
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you~~

Just like me, they long to be
Close to you~~

One Step Too Far

One step too far
All at once I'm falling
Just like a star
I'm buring for you
Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way
I guess that was my first mistake

Cause suddenly I'm walking
Down a dark street to your door
Wanting you is driving me insane
And now my feet are standing
Where they've never stood before
Guided by a twist of fate

If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right I won't be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I ever made

I'm in your room
Now there's no denying
What's in your eyes
When I look at you
To shadows talking but they don't make a sound
Words have lost their meaning now

And the air has turned electric
Now I know the time is right
To put myself into your hands
And suddenly I'm shaking
As your fingers touch my skin
I don't need to understand

But If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right I won't be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I ever made

And if tomorrow proves me wrong
I swear I don't belong
I know I'll carry on

蓝色星期六

好久没有用中文了，今天刚好有空，就打打汉语拼音吧！

今天要先向同事们道歉：

峰：我真的很对不起！我不是想要失约，只是睡到连闹钟都听不到了，连你打给我都不懂！对不起！

Vick: 可能不能和你们一起去上山，但我真的不想去了所以向你讲了个谎话。对不起！

心情蓝蓝的，可能是为了一些一厢情愿的幻想，造成自己拿来衰。其实根本就是没有，还以为人家在给暗示，原来是自以为是！哈哈！所以我想了想，也许该把目标设定低一点？或许会比较容易满足？还是该继续往高处挑战？心情还是怪怪的，不要紧，来一首陶喆吧！令我想起了宝顺陶醉地唱过这首歌：

空无一人 这片沙滩
风吹过来 冷冷海岸
我轻轻抖落鞋里的沙 看着我的脚印
Oh 一个人一步步 好寂寞

看海有些绿 天有些蓝
那段爱情有些遗憾
向不知不觉 游向海天
到最深的地方 才发现你早已经 放弃我

我听到海浪 温柔的呼吸
我看着云朵 飘来飘去
有什么方法 让自己真的忘记
Only Blue Only Blue~~
爱让人好忧郁
我的心 我的心 蓝蓝地

我真的想找一条船 能远远离开这片沙滩
每次又回到同样海边 还是会对你想念想念你
有点Blue 没有人能向你留给我的回忆 有点 Blue Oh~
Only Blue~~

Emotional Expression

It has been quite sometime that my emotions are very immediate and transparent. And it has been going up and down throught out these days. I tried to manage my emotion especially when I'm with people around me, but I just find that recently its too difficult because emotion changes too drastically. Its been some time where I found myself so poor in managing my emotional expression, but if you are having some emotion like this, are you able to manage your emotion well? Guess its too difficult, I'm a good emotional handler, yet I cant even manage the following:

Very difficult right? But wow... That's the life, up and down, happy and down. True Life.

Live your life the fullest!

Some Valuable Story....

I forgotten I received this mail from who, but it is indeed a very meaningful article. Before quoting in the article, let me do some prevail and introduction:

Dear friends. Which is the worst experience that you never had? Lost your most beloving dog? People around you left you? Made a serious mistake which caused more than 6 figures? Accidentally hurt someone badly? Out from those, how well did you managed your emotions? Have you walk out from those shades of darkness? Of so many questions I'd asked, the short stories show you the answer.

Start quoting:"

Professor began his class by holding a glass with some water in it on his hand. He held it up for all to see, and asked the students,"How much do you think this glass weighs?"

"50 gms! 100 gms! 150 gms!" The students answered.
"I do not know how much this glass weigh unless I really weight it, but my question is, what would happen if I held it up like this for a minute?" The professor asked.
"Nothing." Answered by a student

"Ok what about I held it up for an hour?"Asked the professor again.
"Your arm will began to act, professor."Said one of the student.

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!" Ventured another student and all student laughed.

"Very good. But during all these, did the weight of the glass changed?" By the professor.
"No it didnt" was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache and muscle stressed?" - - - - - The students were puzzled.
"What should I do now to come out from the pain?" asked the professor again.
"PUT DOWN THE GLASS!"said one of the student.
"Exactly" said the professor.

Life problem are something like this. Hold it for few minutes in your head it seems OK. Think it for a long time then it'll begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you, you will not able to do anything.

Its important to think on the challenge or problem in your life, but even important is to PUT THEM DOWN at the end of everyday before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed and you wake up everyday a strong, and a fresh day, and able to handle any issue, any challenge that comes to your way!

So, when you leave your friends today, remind them to PUT THE GLASS DOWN!

End of Quotes.

Ending this quotes, I would like to do some remark.

How much of you are a easy problem taker? I'm a bit over on this matter where I take problem too easily, a weakpoint I classify it. I always tend to forget problems that happened around me. But however, I think this artcile make sense. It may be a heavy glass of water, but if we don put down, we will be holding the glass forever. Good day!

A Terrible Kick Off for the Week

I know today its going to jam heavily. I reached out from my house 7:10, 15 minutes earlier than usual, but 10 minutes later than planned.

Two hours later, I was thinking if I should turn off my media player. I was looking for some instrumental songs for my friend. I found the dvd that I burnt. It is keeping all my musics and photos taken. I cant help myself to take a look on those. It reminded me some memories that I had already put down. Some decision that I had determined to proceed. I run down my tears, when I was listening Jim Brickman’s play. All the pieces are like singing us. I broke down in the office when it was playing The Gift. I quickly ran out from the office because it has been worsen. Seeing Jamel smiling at me, I replied with a similar curve. I was about to yell.

Its already four months plus. I resolved my sorrow very rapidly, I thought. If its not so many things has changes, if She never left, if he wasn’t born, if he doesn’t needs me, if I’m not so vulnerable, if she never mention those to me, if we never keep any memories, if.

I turned off my media player moments ago. Understood that I had became the wound opener, I am so regret. I pierced through her heart by assuming it should recover soon or something. I gave up all the promises that I told her those days. When I think back, I realize that I am so wicked. I deliberated all the worries that exist, should exist, into hopes that sound so beautiful, and I crush everything into zero. In the end of thinking all those scars I caused, I understood to me now, its not love anymore, but concerns.

It was a poor start. I though this week is where I need to put 200% onto my work. But it had taken a tumble on my Monday. I’m very sure it isn’t a Monday Blue. Because it started from days ago, weeks ago, months ago. I even committed sins that I never thought I wouldn’t. It has been so many unexpected within these few months. Don’t really have time for going down but emotional is sometimes far beyond rational.

I do not know when it will end. Until the next guy go into her life? Until the next girl come into my life? Guess that its likelier for the latter to happen first.. haha naughty me…