Wednesday, January 21, 2009

冷笑话 - 历史人物篇

Q: 哪一个中国历史人物是跑最快的?










Terms and Definition

Stunned

Adjective
Unable to act or respond; dazed; shocked


Attempt

Noun
1. The action of trying at something
2. An assault or an attack


Responsive

Adjective
1. Answering, replying, or responding
2. Able to receive and respond to stimuli
3. Using antiphons; antiphonal
4. Susceptible to feelings of others


Denied (past tense of Deny)

Verb
1. To not allow
I wanted to go to the party, but I was denied.
2.
To assert that something is not true.
I deny that I was at the party.


Verify

Verb
1. To substantiate or prove the truth of something
2. To confirm or test the truth or accuracy of something
3. (Law) To affirm something formally, under oath

Monday, January 19, 2009

冷笑话 - 地方研究篇

Q: 地球上有东京南京北京,为什么没有西京

A:因为。












西经唐三藏取走了


冷! 冷!! 冷!!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Note For Early 2009

Yeap we heard that what they said. Its going to be a very tough year, tougher than ever at least.

While the SEA economy crisis during year 97/98, I was just a lad, perhaps I'm still one. I seriously feel the difficult time that I am going to face. Which is the target that I set mentioned earlier, to proceed with another financial target of my aim.

However, I think I had a very energized year this year, at least for this 18 days. Every negativity seems so nothing to me, I took my things more easily and more aggressively when they were needed to.

I told myself there's no such things called 365-happy days. As all the big ropes are helical shapes of multiple smaller ropes, which I assume there are so many elements that to combine into a big one in our life. No doubt, many negative things still happens. On my past year, those big things which impacted onto me and people around me had been too much. I would have just resolved every people relation and work matter better than what I had did.

Its a good start this year. I feel like every thing is more. The people are more, the good mood is more, friends are more, energies getting more, loves things around more, hopefully it'll lead to my bank notes to become also more. Which I think that, its time for resuming my part time job again. Although it may not be easy to manage my stamina and time. But I did it once, I think I can do the same thing before thinking of expanding things to become bigger.

It sounded very low profile when I reread my own post here. I want to clarify that this is not. This time I'm very sure especially the first 10 days of 2009 I had met a few big cases personally and officially, but I was so surprise everything handled perfectly. Perhaps understanding that many things are just beyond our control, we will have to move on with our foot steps firm enough to carry all the weight.

I want to remember my feelings now. That is why I came to this post. Previously I had created a personal authorized blog to jot down all the negative things to prevent myself spreading all the negativity to my friends, quoting Irvin, its too difficult to read my blog because that he had to help himself prevent to be affected by my negativity. Fortunate or unfortunate? I had not put a single alphabet there yet. Perhaps its just so nice to make things a little bit better by thinking in the positive way. I'd forgotten when was the last time I think like that, but throughout early of this year, I've been doing that, unconsciously.

Good job I praised to myself! I'll keep that up! And everybody should keep that up! Lets move ahead although its a tough year in financial, we shouldn't make it a tough year for our emotion and quality life!

Tom (Jeans) and Jerry's Non Sense Chat Log (Funny!)

It was a boring working late afternoon, as usual, I was looking for somebody to hit me with some text from my chatting tools to at least let me drift myself out from my work as my ular session:

T: hi jerry,,still alive ah?

J :ahh~~~...... ah~~~~~..... *dying*
T: ping piang.....
J: errkkK!!!!
T: chik chiak_[bullet uploading]..
J: siiiuuu....siiiiuuuuuu~~~~
*matrix-style dodging bullets*.... nyek nyek nyek...
T: croaching tiger hidden dragon ...hiok,,hak hak,,,hek,,,[kung fu]
J: hoik! *dodge* hiiippp *jump up on the air* kraaakkk!! *broke a bamboo stick* AHH~~~ *stand on the bamboo tree preparing...*
T: tieng tieng....[guitar swiping], "xiu lam kung fu hou yeh"
J: hou hou yeh
T: xiu lam kung fu geng
J: hao hao geng
T: ngor hai ti tao gong
J: ti~~ tao~~ gong~~~~
T: nei hai kam kong toi,,,,,
J: kam~ kong~~~ toi~~~~ huak!!! HUAK!!!!!!!!
T: hahhaha,,,
J: ahhaah
T: siup,,,,,[pulling out the sword]
J: huh??!!!!!!! fok fok fok *stick swinging*
T: see my 飞云!hoi,,,hah。。。。
T: 风云剑!!
J: then i cannot use stick jor
T: i forgot wat tat sword name liao...hahahha
J: 血饮狂刀
J: 绝世好剑
T: ya,,,,jue shi hao jian
J: gurup...gurup.....*eating 菩提子*
T: 小李飞刀! siup ,,,,[茶杯..flying,,,]
J: kororororoororor........... *filling 茶杯 with tea*....
T: 敬你一杯! 请问大虾贵姓?
J: 大虾? 在下老虎虾!未请教!
T: 久仰大名...
J: 不敢当
T: 一斤多少钱?
J: 放肆!什么一斤多少钱?!!!
T: 哈,难道你是用‘只’来算的?
J: 最少要买五斤!! 用‘只’来算也可以!
T: siup.....[sword....pulling]
J: !!
未请教....
T: 再请教
J: 先请而后教
T: 先教再后请。。。
J: 后请而后教
T: 再后就接招!!!hiop....
J: hoik
T: ting ting ting'''[music]
J: 埋住!
T: ting ting ting ting,,,,,[walking round]
J: flok flok flok *pigeon fly in*
T: frezze...[MI2,...uom cruise walk in...opps...]
J: 大侠原来是同道中人
T: 你是哪一道?我是常迟道。。。。你呢?
J: 山中飞鸽传书, 说大侠原来是来买秘密老虎虾!
T: 对...老兄...
J: 飞鸽传书说,Mariah Carey 要来,要买老虎虾请他吃
T: 对....
T: 不好意思,昨天mariah 说他不想吃了
J: !!
T: tom cruise,,要吃....
J: 唉,飞鸽传书就是不够SMS快, 已经叫他们用SMS了...
T: 错,我们用3G
J: 3鸡?
T: siup....[PDA pulling,,]
J: 难怪三只小猪过时了。。。
T: ya,,,看我的最新山鸡, 最快,,最大,,,最划算
J: 高明高明!
T: 而且还是黑剃鸡{HTC}!!!
J: 可以跟我们虾帮派的千里传音相比
T: 难怪你outdate了, 我们可以传万里了
J: 让我把这太黑剃鸡拍起来,siup! [HP take out]
T: 泰国龙珠上等3鸡,可以传万里家
J: 我这个锁你屎未索(Sony Cybershot)
T: 锁你屎未索!! 黑剃鸡的死对头!!
J: 不错吧?
T: 屎未索已经收皮了。。
J: 不可能!
T: 讲多无谓。。。。看招!
J: hiippp
T: croaching tiger..[croach croach croach...]
J: hidden dragon [shouting...roarr.....roaarrr.....]
T: wah...really tired...来杯乌龙茶
J: 我不要, 我要黑龙茶!
T: ring ring ring...[黑剃鸡响了。。]
T: 老虎虾兄...在下又要使...任务难违。。。
J: *听~~妈妈的~~~话~~*[锁你响了]
T: 后会有期...
J: 等等!
J: shiupppp *tea cup sliding*
T: 嘿,,我接
J: 先敬茶。。。。
T: 我 siup....再请你茶
J: 很涨了,谢谢
T: 不客气
J: 你已经中毒了, muahahahhaha!
T: 哈哈哈...看我的
T: hoiikkk....puuuuu....[vomit out the tea]
J: 早料到你会这样, 其实毒中在你的手,
T: 哈哈密密麻麻。。。。。你也中招了!含笑半步丁!!hohoho..
J: :X顾名思义要含笑, 半步,才丁。我没有半步所以没丁
T: hoik,,,,,,[jumping to the air force 1]
J: 你!!!别跑~
T: obama need my helps
J: oops *walked*
T: he said he cannot pang sai, i need to urut 他, hoik!!
J: hoik, siup [continue yamcha]
Both: 哈哈哈....
to be continued....

Note: Tom Jeans (Facebook / Friendster) is my ex coursemate during diploma. A good looking guy, I always call him Kent Zhu Xiao Tian, because to me he really looks like him, some angle of view. He taught me a little bit of guitar last time, where I'd also joint him to jamming room before. And he's now a father, but a happy father I think. Only a happy father can able to chat to me like so funny, not like those very dull father, always talk about do's and dont's only. Haha. Hope to meet him up some day. Really long time no see.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

In Memories of XF and XS

Dear XF,

By listening to the description from Your mummy to me, I know You left with full of willingness, by staying cute, even though You'd left.

We know You do not want to leave XS alone up there, that is why You decided to meet him up there 2 days after XS left. I'm sure that XS will first whack You up before saying anything to You, because I just asked Him to bless your life with full of strength day before, and You do not seem to accept that but made another decision.

I think that both of You will love each other more up there, live more happily up there. XF, stop bullying XS when You reach there ok? And we know how fat You were, so, You do not need to keep fit already, since You are already fat :p . Therefore eat as much of doggy food as You can. We know You like it, no need to curi curi makan.

And daddy know I very naggy.. but both of You must bless mummy alot, for her to be happy every single second, every day. And don't be naughty, cause I already ask Your grandma to watch you all out, She will report to me if both of You in caught naughty!

With Love,
Papa

Sunday, January 11, 2009

To Little Skinny Who Will be Always be Blessed

Dear XS,

We know that You are always adorable, we know that you are always happy. When You reach your new place with full of joy and endless happiness, please do not hesitate to be as playful as possible, eat and store unlimited kua zi of Your most favourite activities. God will bless You no matter where You go. With the new place, we know that You will be happier than suffering Your illness within these few months. I feel very regret that I'm not around with You during Your toughest moment, and as well as not around with mummy when she's helpless. So, with all Your means, I hope You can bless mummy with all the happy days she will be going through, and all the strength to empower both of mummy and XF to continue live strong and happy. RIP.

With Love,
Papa


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