Jerry: I don't even know what will happen tomorrow, can we don talk bout "next year"?
Fong: You can definitely know what will happen tomorrow, plan what you want to do tomorrow, then you will know.
Jerry: Have you ever met such scenario when, you know what you want, but something unwanted is likely going to happen, and you can give a damn to change those unwanted things.
I dont see my tomorrow. Perhaps when I forsee it, I only see those unwanted things likely to happen. When she carried her son to come in front of my room saying something so affecting, I knew I hit the bouzai. The good things never realized, not even my 4D numbers are striked.
I was wondering how it could be, when I think I attempt to repair the atmosphere, to a more harmonical place. It is only 4 people, plus 1 infant. I cant manage a 4 people scenario, I cant solve a 4 people problem. May be I'm not so good, I'm not good enough here. No body will listen to me here; no body will think I'm good here; no body will appreciate what I did here; no body will like me here."
I am mentally fatigue. I am sooooo disappointed. I am so fucked up. I am so pissed off. I am so lost. I am so helpless. I am so stupid. I am so unwanted. I am so undisputed. I am so dedignified. I am so demoralized. I am so useless.
I choose to remain silent, and deaf if possible. According to the experts, when a person started to become deaf, or mute, unnaturally, it is the activation of self defense mechanisms.
"Expect for a better tomorrow" ??
When I sleep tonight, I only hope that I can wake up tomorrow.
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