Lame Joke? The True Identity of God

One Day, in the Garden of Eden, Eve, called out to God, "Lord I have a problem"

"What's the problem?" God asked.

She replied, "I know you created me and gave me this beautiful garden and all these wonderful animals but I'm just not happy. THe reason is that I am lonely."

God replied, "Well here's what I'll do for you, I'll create a man"

Eve asked, "whats a man?"

"Man is a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain glorious. He'll be bigger than you, faster and will also like to hunt. But since you've been complaining, he'll be capable of comforting you and pleasing you. However, he'll revel in childish things like fighting, and kicking a ball about. He also wont be too smart so he'll need your help to think properly."

Eve then asked, "sounds like he's ok, but what's the catch?"

God repied, "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and vain. So you'll have to let him think that I made him first. Just remember, it'll be our little secret, woman to woman!"

Jerry says, after living for how many millions of year, some guys who read this article and find out laughing at themselves, how could a fool they'd be. That we thought that we are great, but wtf we're just a preplanned designated joke from the start. To all christian, quoted this article from some book. Seriously no offence.

Dialogues

#1.
A: saw the flash?
B: wow they really flash over to giv signal for speed trap.. so cooperative.. wat a 1 malaysia

#2.
A: wat time u slp?
B: im sleeping soon loh.. tomoro work...y leh? u pek cek?
A: i wan bath 1st, then i need some1 to chat wit..
B: like 12:30 am?
A: 1
B: ...

#3.
A: u know jerry... im controlling my voice already...
B: (gosh... im reading text u know....)

#4.
A: wher r u now?
B: im still at the bank, may b u all should start the lunch 1st.. everybody arrived?
A: everybody reached.. so many ppl.. but we r not going to start without u..
B: wtf.. u're kidding rite? im stil stuck in the bank..

#5.
A: u don tell me u.....
B: u think i no need eat?
A: need.. but no need to eat so much nia...
B: im not the keep fit type of person rite?
A: but u also not tht person who will find ur fren if the thing u can handle urself..

#6.
A: 我知道我只能够2选1，这两个根本不可能同时进行。
B: (have u ever really think of trying? i think its worth trying tho, but i guess u don wanna try picking up both.. sry for not telling u this.)

#7.
A: lol
B: hami tai ji?
A: return u free domm free dom free dom free dommm freee dooooommmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
B: free lan

#8.
A: actually wat is the gum going to do with the hip?
B: if the gum is in tht condition, u all must fix the gum 1st, bcos its life threatening

#9.
A: i put bz is bcos jia jia wan ma.. i don wan the msn pop up to disrupt the media player...sometimes im not bz wan...
B: haha me too lar... i also jia jia wan.... haha...

#10.
A: Wanna buy leh...
B: ya.. but expensive... dunno should buy o not...or u wan buy for me?
A: can... buy for u,, but if u buy urself, u will get it faster lo.. if i buy.. need to wait very long.. haha!
B: i wait lo since stil not so good to play tht kinda pedal yet..yeah got ppl wan buy for me liao.. yes!
A: after 3 to 5 yrs will get it as ur birthday present.. btw.. how much is it first?
B: u don wish to know de la.. tht model no produce anymore.. new model is Boss GT-10.. if u sure after 3-5yrs u will think to buy.. google it...

尼克斯君性格网站

性格分析

流浪者。9月24日出生的人是天生的流浪者，他们生性爱好旅行，或者说命中注定要去旅行。流浪或旅行，是他们生活中最真实的主题，但也可以幻化成精神和情绪层面的探险。

不要把“流浪”局限在表面的字义，阅读、思考、梦想和旅行等，各种躯体上和心理上的流浪，都足以引发这群流浪者高度的兴趣。

在这群人当中，有些是早年常流浪，日后却选择过着“从良”般的安定生活；有些则是到了中年时期才突然游兴大发，随时准备抛弃红尘，整装上路。然而绝大部份在今天出生的人，是永远都无法安定下来的。就算他们以为安定是他们所梦寐以求，还是会周而复始地更换新环境、新对象、新计画，并且自以为终于找到可以天长地久的东西。不过，有自知之明的人却也心里有数：对他们而言，并没有所谓真正的永恒。可是天知道！没过多久，他们又会开始寻寻觅觅了。

爱情运

今天出生的人，经常在寻找能够与自己性格产生互补作用的特殊人才，以及要完成自己理想不可或缺的伴侣。

他是一个认为世界是以恋爱为中心而回转的典型空想家，因此，常会被他人粗野的言行所伤害。过分要求对方要具备自己所欠缺的，或能完全符合自己标准的性格，往往会让自己不断重复体验失败的痛苦。其实，自己所期望他人所具有的性格，大多隐藏在自己的内心。所以，如果能不强求别人，而从自己内心深处去寻求的话，依赖他人来成就自己的情形，应该会自然而然的减少才对。有魅力的今天出生的人，若能将他最富魅力的地方充分发挥出来的话，就能够感受到最大的喜悦。今天出生的寿星，虽然想要长久维持富有变化的爱情生活，然而却缺乏安定的心情。如果想要维持像婚姻这种长期性关系的话，需要为能持续维持安定的情绪而努力。在这天出生的寿星，所拥有的亲切、魅力、喜好气派等优点，在安定的爱情生活中，可以发挥到极点。

金钱运

今天出生的寿星，物质欲望并不强，但对有关金钱方面的事，却是个十足的神秘主义者。

认为金钱是能用的时候就要充分的去使用它。对美丽的东西、喜欢的服饰品，或能够满足自己高尚奢好的花费，毫不吝惜。今天出生的人，对金钱的处理明朗而清白，最讨厌欺骗；同时非常厌烦自己的恋情与金钱扯上关系而被抹黑。因此，不会因为金钱的因素，去选择自己恋爱或结婚的对象，如果双方要分手，也不会要求金钱方面的代价。

事业运

在工作方面，经常与他人保持接触，对今天出生的人来说，是必要且不可少的；那是对自我的一种激励，更是迈向成功之路的起点。

今天出生的人，往往直到与工作的伙伴分开，不得不单独挑起工作进度的情况下，才会体认到自己缺乏判断及决定力，而因此感到挫折。所以，只有在与他人有密切合作关系时，才能将自己的优点发挥到最大的限度。今天的人若能充分展现其魅力以及外向的社交性才华，必能在管理人际关系上开花结果。除了外交性领域外，也适合从事法官、律师、交涉代理人、调解人员等工作由于本质有喜欢美与均衡的特质，所以室内装潢、服装表演、化妆品业界等行业，也是能够发挥实力的理想工作。此外，今天出生的人，若能把自己创造性或美的才华，运用在音乐、文字、戏剧、绘画等艺术领域的话，可以获得无限的满足。

健康运

今天出生的人在人生的不同阶段中，注定会遭到相当严重的心理困扰。

所以，最好能及早接受某种形式的治疗或咨询，以便寻获援助，洞悉自己不寻常的潜意识活动，并学习克服烦躁和过于活跃的幻想。冥想虽然有所帮助，但只适合在短期之内使用。与其依赖药物(绝对要远离酒精)，不如努力寻找更健康的生活方式，甚至仿效“孟母三迁”换个新环境。可从事园艺、种植菜蔬；同时改变饮食习惯，不要食用含防腐剂的食品，改吃新鲜的水果和蔬菜，都是健康之道。至于运动，适度即可，不要过量。

幸运数字

9月24日出生的人会受到数字6(2+4=6)和金星的影响。

今天出生的人特别具有“磁力”，容易受人爱慕，吸引爱情的到来；再加上金星与社交的密切关连，所以常常会禁不住诱惑而去尝试浪漫的经验。金星本来就是天秤座的主宰行星，他们会受到影响也就不足为奇。爱情通常会成为被数字6影响的人生活中的一大重心，对今天出生的人尤其如此。

适合你的恋爱对象：

1月27日2月4日4月2日4月24日5月5日7月3日7月12日8月20日8月29日9月30日10月20日11月28日

适合你的朋友对象：

1月20日1月26日4月5日5月4日5月8日6月7日7月7日8月1日


PS:我对他的个性分析80%赞同，未来的事我想听。但我必须澄清，我真的没有改编任何文章里面的内容！

给一名好友的一段文章

昨天试着很辛苦跟一名好友解释男女朋友之间的priority, 不知是让她误会了还是怎样，只希望我想表达的是让朋友了解，男生也会有依赖性，不是说成熟男人就不会，恰好Melvin哥在fb post了一段，就拷贝过来让大家参考一下:

如果，你有个男人在失意时，会躲在你怀里撒娇得像个孩子，他其实很爱你。无论他去了多远，有多成功，有时变得有点自大自我和不可理喻，但当他在外头不开心失意时，他马上就会掉头躲进你怀里。他其实并走不出你魔掌。
如果，你有个像这样的男人，其实你还真不赖。你需要的只是在他失意时，安慰他鼓励他，让他好好的在你怀里休息。在他很自大时，也不用跟他争吵，你心底下暗算他会从哪里跌下来扶他就好，让他跌得“舒服“点。就像你看着你学走路的孩子，难道你怕他跌而不让他学吗？
在他坏时，其实你也不用撇下他，冷眼看就好，看他去得了多远。你离开他，搞不好十年八年后，你遇回失去你后，还在原地惊慌失措的傻瓜。

男生也会想在拍拖的时候得到attention。 除非是情非得已，环境不容，要不情侣们，请把你们的Priorities设定好，另一半是排在那里，是很重要的。虽然本人没拍拖，但是不管男女，你们的另一半的地位在他们的心目中，是很备受在意的。虽然情人节已过多时，但是还是祝天下有情人终成眷属，天天都是情人节。=)

爱与不爱 - 黄威尔

Conversate With The Rain

Its raining heavily out of no where, I was wondering how could this huge rain came about. I decided to go to witness how heavy it was.

I squad down and pulled out a stick from the blue box. After it lits, I thought of giving my own sanity a bit way off, and talk to the rain.

Me: whats ur feeling everytime u do it?
Rain: very complicated...
Me: how's it like?
Rain: i feel im very satisfy when i pour everything out, at least i know tht make things better..
Me: aint thts very good? i mean u r doin things tht make u satisfy and happy..
Rain: but i had been doing this for long, some happy wit it, some not...
Me: huh?
Rain: u see, im a natural. everytime i pour myself onto earth, i enjoy it. i like seeing greens being flushed by me.. i help the trees grow.. i reduce the temperature of land.. and the feeling i like most is, i wash away a lot of problems.
Me: so wat is the problem u face then?
Rain: some times i do it all alone, there is no reply or return i could ever expect. but its ok.. but when i hear ppl whining on me.. i feel sad.. it could be better still that if i feel that im needed..
Me: wat happen actually?
Rain: they once need water, they need me the natural water.. but when they had the technology to gain their own water, they feel im extra, that im not needed anymore.. they wan me to leave?
Me: i wont wan that to happen tho.. i appreaciate u.. i like when it rains.. even tho im on the bike, even tho i hv sensitive nose.
Rain: thx, but when they need water, they gain from other source, when they wan cool temperature, they get air cond, when they need a splash, they get the pools.. i feel my contribution is no more...

It was a long conversation. But I only manage to get those out of it. I seriously do not know what happen to it but I love when it rains. I even love the songs called Kiss The Rain, both by Billie Myers and Yiruma's play. Too bad that situation has gone bad and out of expectation. Its always bad when things are seriously out of expectation. I suppose I shouldn't expect too.

Guess what.. it's my 100th post in J-FMII, almost forgot what this blog name is.

Defining The Cause of A Split

Human are very much funny where we always blind folded by something not true. And when its about time to have a change, where we know the relevant parties will not able to accept, we always tell lie. There's one most common lie we seen all day long is during the couples are about to break up or divorce, they do not trace problem back to the root cause, but they tracked the problem at the stage immediately before it happen. Example:

She: honey, can we stay home tonite rather than going out for that movie? i know u wanted to watch that movie so much but i had been bz for consecutive 3 days and im extremely exhausted.
He: alrite dear. its almost 11pm.. hv u taken ur dinner?
She: nah i'd lost my appetite working lotsa documents for tomorrow's meeting and i think its a good timing for me to slim down.
He: ok then, go get ur shower dear.. u really looked exhausted, i go get u a cup of milk instead.
She: thx honey..

After the wife went into the bath room, he heard an sms on the wife's handphone and picked up. The texts read as below:
"Great movie huh.. I think I agree with you, Pepper Pots are better than Natalie Rushman in that movie earlier.. and thanks for the dinner you had accompany me.. it has been a better dinner than yesterday nite.. miss u"

So there goes the wife came out from the shower....

He: so how's ur preparation for tomorrow's meeting?
She: ahh.. its alrite i jz managed to finished it jz now and at first time come back home..
He: i made u a cup of milk..
She: thx dear..
He: haha.. who do u think hotter in iron man 2? pepper pots or natalie rushman?
She: huh?
He: tot u had a discussion earlier with another guy..
She: U CHECKED ON ME??!!!!!
He: jz so happen, and wat kinda things you can hide from me?
She: DO U KNOW WAT IS MANNERS AND PRIVACY? SINCE U DON TRUST ME!!! I WAN A DIVORCE!!!

So we are investigating why would this lovely couple need a divorce:
1. Because the wife lied that she's busy but watching movie at the other round.
2. Because the wife went for dinner and movie with another guy.
Point 1 and 2 has been certified invalid, because there is point number 3:
3. The husband shows no respects on privacy by looking at the wife's SMS.

Judge it.

I'll Be There - Jackson 5