What the....

I use the Fumakilla bottle to knock on my head
To make myself more alert
Gallons of caffein cant stimulate the neuros anymore
They are all now numb.

First happen when I lost my diary,
fine though till I knock that money lender's Waja,
still ok you know till I forgotten to submit my report in time,
now I lost all my f*cking receipt and I am subsidizing the company now.

Perhaps I need to use a ceramic instead of the aerosol bottle.
Because I am now numbed.
They first told me there's a pay rise.
"O.." I replied without giving a damn of the facial expression.
Then they passed me the offer letter and confirm it.
"Any expectation?" he asked.
"No, not at all" with the expression-less replied on the sat-down-prepared-to-discusss manager.

Then they started to yell at each other at another ground.
Its good that I decide to stay this ground,
Its bad that I have to squeeze all those pain into juice, by myself.

I started to feel alone, aging to be exact.
Even the geese not walking out from the front yard anymore.
I see the dogs at the guard house getting skinnier and I can some what see their bones.
The ants are not even bothering the biscuits crumbs I left on the table.

Is it all my "should be" "shouldnt be"?
I killed my own satisfaction, need lower ambitious.
I need a break, which I'm going to get soon.
May be its not a long break but, at least will cast me away from the boiling points.
I hope that people who stay here has the self management that I "used to" have.
That the neighbours do not receive such high decibels onto the innocents.

Time to sleep. Good night!