Random Long Post

i guess this is the 1st random post i did it here. to me most likely the term "random" happen to appear in this kinda occasions are some wat meaningless, and i'm deciding not to take care of my grammar and language here.

it happen to appear in my mind tht stopped me from blogging since mid of march till recently i put back sthg that not really me into the blog to sort of continuing things that had stopped for a while, which is a very bad habit of me on persisting sthg, in all sorts of efforts which needs to pay.

1st of all is the news of frens didnt make it up after chasing a gal for several years. big bow to him. several years aftering 1 gal. end up zero bcos tht gal told him tht herself do not know wat she really wants, and do not hope tht my fren to continue waste time on her. wat a ridiculous excuse. half true half not? i told myself, shall there's anygal tell me tht, there's only 2 things appear in my mind: 1 is tht gal found her true guy for her; 2 is she had enuf lunatic time spent on me, thts y. i spent a nite wit tht buddy of mine without complaining. i am more than 100% sure that if i'm down in mood, he will do everything he can to console me. this is call brother.

after that a fren of mine that i tot had been released from the past nitemares. but seems like still kena haunting by the characters in the nightmare spontaneously, so sad tht when u tried so hard to help fren, they are still bind to the negative side of the devils who still bugging them and unable to release. perhaps i was the devil b4, erm may b i stil the devil which still haunting somebody's mind. but i hope that i am not anymore.

after discovered myself underperform, i quickly style myself up in my workplace. things are quite likely to happen since suddenly the load of my work started to remoderate and changes a lil bit. and now, i do not hope that i hv more hours per day, i hope there are more days per week.

being nasty in the family has not become my preference. after doin it once, i really find it hard to accept for myself. and i think that familism has letting me know that i made a serious mistake on decision making, that i am not able to to change the cruel truth on meditating the illness in this house. even myself had lost patience on managing the eldar. i become very hot temper when i reach home. i still rmb wat LF said, "pity u, u cant feel the warmness of ur home" similar things mentioned by SY too.

recently i had a few frens which are far younger, like 19-20s, or some wat 22-23. joining them makes me feels like i'm old. perhaps the only thing in this world which is fair is the time. everybody share the same 24-7 a week, and 365.25 days per year. which will not be arguable. u take ur nx move to spend the nx second. u gain wat u spend for the last second. some focus wealth, welp most of them do, some focus fun and entertainment, some spend to look for their soulmates for the rest of their life, some out of nthg just wan to be themselves, ie me. how ever when i looked at those who i called gns, i envy that the only thing i don hv is the timing. i hope i would back to the campus again and do things that wat they r doin rite now. during my studies, my only complain to study life is there's no concrete rewards, unlike working life, u work hard ya its fucking hard but in the end of the day u get ur rewards, so called "in the end of the day". but nowadays the gns who are studying, they get their rewards, mixing up wit frens so freely; buying things that they intended to buy, and who need to work to buy their Sony Ericsson or Samsung? 1 out of 10?

deemed that i'm single, ray for no reason called me yesterday said wan intro me a "fren", and i can feel tht there are timings for me to readapt for being a good and responsible man to rely on. at least the correct person are simple so important at the correct place and correct time. i hope things will jz go smoothly and i put my palm on my chest and type this: if i were to stay single for the rest of my life, for this moment, i think its ok"

for watever reason i posted this long winded thingy. i hope everybody will hv their life progressive. the ills will get cured; the sad will get happy; the poor will get rich; and the irritating ppl can get lost.